From Pre-Med to Peppermint Oil

Life is funny. It has a way of changing people. Sometimes big changes, all at once, and, sometimes, gradual changes we don't even recognize until we look back. I began my adult life with a very specific focus and determination to go to medical school and become a doctor. I graduated with a decent GPA, from a decent university, with a pre-med degree. But Life was working, even then, to change me. In those early years, I believed in modern medicine wholeheartedly. I decided not to go to medical school for a variety of reasons, but it wasn't that I stopped believing in the marvels of modern medicine.

Around the time I started having babies, I remember thinking, "Women have been doing this for thousands of years, without the aid of doctors or machinery or hospitals or epidurals. What's the big deal?" I even told the doctor that delivered Weston that all I really needed was a catcher. My first three babies were delivered in hospitals by doctors, because we had big, fat, corporate insurance, and it just seemed easiest to pick an in-network doctor and go with that. But, even then, I didn't feel it was necessary to have a doctor present. I just knew that Jeff probably wasn't up for playing catcher, so we needed someone else in the room. I didn't have an epidural or any medication. I just did what my body knew to do. (Max was a little bit of a challenge, as he decided to come out like Superman and got himself stuck. It wasn't quite as straightforward as the other deliveries, and I was thankful to have some extra, knowledgeable help to get him out and to help him through the next few days as he recovered from the experience).

When the corporate insurance went away, we took a longer, deeper look at the role of modern medicine in our lives, and we decided most of it wasn't necessary. Originally, we were motivated almost solely by money and convenience. We started using homemade cough remedies for kids who seemed to be too young for all the over-the-counter stuff. And, we experimented with using hydrogen peroxide to treat ear infections. And, it worked--sometimes on about the same time frame as medicine and sometimes quicker. And, when it came time to have our fourth child, we chose to have a midwife deliver him at a birthing center. The cost to deliver there was significantly lower than to deliver at the hospital. But, money aside, I can tell you now that I wish I would have chosen that route with all my babies. No one bothered me. Or hooked me up to a million instruments. Or told me what to do. Or tried to pump me full of drugs. When I was ready, I just told the midwife, and she stood beside the bed to play catcher. Then, we went home later that day, and it all just felt so much more natural and comfortable.

I find that the more years I get under my belt, the less I depend on, and even trust, modern medicine and the more I look for alternatives to keep my family healthy. Now, granted, we are generally a pretty healthy bunch. Thankfully, we aren't dealing with any major illnesses or chronic conditions. And, I'm not saying modern medicine isn't useful. I was very glad to have a skilled doctor sew up Max's chin a few months ago and one to staple my head closed last summer. And, I'm thankful for all the modern medicine involved in helping my dad when he had his heart attack a month ago. Certainly, it has it's place. But, I no longer believe in it like I used to, especially for non-serious medical problems.

Recently, as we've had little problems come up, I've been researching and trying more and more home remedies. I have been taking Evening Primrose Oil (in caplet form) for hormonal acne and have seen major improvements. I was introduced to Peppermint Oil as a way to treat headaches and have been amazed at how well it has worked. I have also used Vitamin E Oil to treat ingrown toenails on myself and plantar warts on the kids and have seen wonderful results.

It's funny to me now that I once wanted to be a doctor of modern medicine and that I once believed in that system so wholeheartedly. That's not at all who I am anymore. Life has changed me. Of course, I recognize that many readers will not agree, and that is perfectly fine with me. I am not trying to persuade anyone to change the way they think. I just wanted to express my amusement in the fact that Life changes us in spite of ourselves. I am learning to embrace and appreciate change as it comes, and I respect that Life will not take any two people down the exact same path. This is one way in which Life has changed me. How has it changed you?

Customer Non-Service

Jeff and I have long been frustrated with our bank. But, the thought of moving the six accounts we hold there just seems too daunting a task, and it never seems to make it even to the top ten on the priority list.  But, if they keep up their amazing customer non-service, we just might have to get serious about making a change.

For the last couple of weeks, we have not been able to log on to online banking from our laptops. That is inconvenient, but we have just been logging on on our phones instead. But, today, I received a message when I tried to log in on my phone that my account had been locked. Which meant I had no choice but to call the ridiculously unhelpful customer service department. Someone answered, required me to answer a million questions to verify my identity, listened to my problem, put me on hold and then, without further explanation, told me she would have to pass me along to someone else. Fine. Next person answers, asks me the same million questions and then asks me what the problem is. I explain that I cannot log on to my online account, and she tells me I need to use a different browser. Well, I don't have another browser on my laptop, but I tell her I can try on a another machine. No luck with that either. So, she then proceeds to scoff at the fact that I don't have any other computers or browsers to try and tells me that, in that case, there is nothing she can do. She simply cannot help me and apparently can't point me to anyone who can. Then the following conversation took place:

"So, I can't use online banking at all?" I ask.

"Well, can't you just log on from your phone?" she replies.

"I don't know. I wasn't able to log on from my phone earlier, which is why I called you."

"You mean you haven't tried to log on from your phone since you talked to the other rep, because I see here that that person unlocked your account?"

"Um, no. I have been on the phone the entire time, waiting to talk to someone who can help me."

"Oh. You mean, you are using that same phone?!"

"Well, yes. It's the only phone I have. But I can try it when we hang up, and call you back if it doesn't work."

"Ok. That sounds good. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?"

[Words screamed spoken only in my head while banging it against a wall] "Are you kidding me?! You haven't assisted me with anything yet!!!"

Ugh! Anybody out there have a bank they love, with excellent (or at least not lousy) customer service?

The party that almost did me in

I love a good party. Especially a good birthday party. And, I've hosted some fine ones, if I do say so myself. I have planned and served elaborate themed meals. I have toiled over the most minute birthday cake details until the wee hours of the morning and gone to bed with a satisfied weariness that came from knowing I produced exactly what my child described to me as his or her perfect cake. I have designed fancy invitations, decorated the house, filled piñatas, planned fun activities and bought cool party favors. I even once spent weeks creating a firetruck out of a sofa box and arranging for the real firetruck to show up at the party!

But the birthday party that just about did me in was the one that took place at our house today. It was the first one we've had that didn't involve a theme. Or my hand in the invitations. Or me making a cake. (Or even the cookies that were served in place of cake). And, I barely even saw Ruth and her friends during the party, as they tucked themselves away where they could giggle and tell secrets and silly stories and listen to Taylor Swift and do each other's hair. I knew this party was coming; I just didn't know it was going to get here so soon. And, even though I am proud of Ruth for designing, printing and mailing all the invitations and baking her own cookies and creating a special piece of jewelry to give to each of her friends as a favor, I must admit a piece of my heart is completely broken. I feel like I have been kicked out of the loop. Birthday parties are one of the tangible ways I love on my kids. But I feel like I'm no longer an essential piece of the puzzle. And, I know that, while my kids will always love me, there will be more and more instances where they just don't really need me. This, of course, is how it should be. If I'm doing my job correctly, my children should become more independent. That's absolutely what I want. At the moment, though, I'm not quite sure what to do with my emotions or how to re-channel my birthday party energy or why things can't just always be as they were. I guess I've got some growing up of my own to do. Perhaps, I should follow the lead of this lovely lady:

Celebrating 11

Maldives Dreaming

Back in January or February, Jeff and I booked an early anniversary get-away to the Maldives. Our plan was to stay in a water bungalow and go scuba diving and enjoy each other's company and soak up some sun and silence on the private island on which our resort was situated. But, as the countdown to the trip began and we thought about leaving the children for so long and going so far away, we began to get cold feet, and we cancelled the trip. And, filling in the gaps, as life does, work stuff came up for both of us for this week, and that seemed to confirm that we had made a good choice to stay around here. I haven't really regretted our decision to cancel the trip (except for the lost motivation to work out). But, today was a day full of regular life--sickness, crying, spills, broken objects, work, feelings of inadequacy, potty training, messes, technical difficulties, et cetera, et cetera--and a glance at the calendar told me it was a day when I could have been dipping my toes in the clear blue water of the Indian Ocean without any little people around to detract from the solitude. I will admit to feeling sadness and regret at the realization. I really do know it was for the best that we changed our plans, but just for tonight I will dream that I am sitting on this deck, sipping on a fruity little drink, with no house to clean or laundry to do or McDonald's for dinner or countless interrupted conversations. And, perhaps one of these days, the dream will become reality.

Lunch According to Ruth

Summer tends to get chaotic for us when there is no schedule to follow. And, chaos tends to make me cranky. So, in an effort to combat that, I have put together a little summer schedule for us to follow. It's nothing elaborate, and it still leaves plenty of room for all kinds of spontaneous fun, but I need to hold on to all the sanity I can, and I find structure helps with that.

One of the things on the schedule that the big kids are really excited about is that each of them is responsible for planning and preparing (to the best of their ability) one meal a week. Today, Ruth made lunch, in true Ruth fashion. She prepared a vegetarian meal in three courses and pulled out the crystal and china for serving. The finer points of this meal may have been lost on her brothers (the only other diners), but I found it to be a delightful little luncheon. It's fun to have someone around here who appreciates the finer things and enjoys pretty things just because they are pretty. (As opposed to those whose menus call for classy things like canned meat). Ruth did everything herself for this meal, from chopping to serving to hand washing the china.

pretty preparations

Ruth's 1st course: homemade bread and dipping oil

2nd course: cold cucumber soup with tomatoes

3rd course: goat cheese and grapes

Mother's Day

a little love from Max

from my friend Weston

sweet words from sweet Ruth

my babies' birthstones (from oldest to youngest) on a beautiful ring

So blessed to be the mom of these amazing kiddos!

Help me with the happy

As you know, we are Disney bound in a few weeks. And, y'all. I am completely overwhelmed. Several people have told me that planning is half the fun. And that makes me a little worried about the whole trip, because I am not finding the planning part all that fun. I'm finding it rather maddening. Since it's my first (and probably my last) time to go, I have no idea what to expect in terms of lines or crowds or how long it takes to get from one end of a park to another (or anything else, for that matter). I mean, is it even possible to meet Mary Poppins in UK at 1:00 and Mulan in China at 2:00? Of course, there are millions of people on the worldwide web expressing their opinions about must-dos and definitely-avoids, but they are all over the board. And, frankly, some of it doesn't sound like "Happiest Place on Earth" type stuff. ("30 minute lines for bathrooms"). Not to mention, I can't really make Disney planning into my full-time job. (And, of course, I didn't start 6 months ahead of time, as has been suggested as the best course of action in various places on the Internet). Pretty much everyone says, "Don't go without a plan," but they fail to actually give me a plan. I am using the Disney planning tool, but what I really want is for someone else to tell me exactly what I should do, how much time it should take and, basically, give me an exact plan for my exact family that will actually work, without anyone in the group getting overstimulated or overtired and going into meltdown mode. I mean, really, is that too much to ask?! Almost everyone we talk to and most of the things we read online indicate that people LOVE this as a family vacation, so I'm hopeful that we will find that to be the case as well. If you've done this before, don't hesitate to send some encouragement my way. And, if you've got a fool-proof plan that will work for my family, you'll become my new best friend.